On my homepage, you’ll see that I have a spot reserved for my blog post titled “Why We Should Talk About Controversial Topics”.
This is because I find it to be so important to have tough conversations. Especially with someone with opposing viewpoints.
There are way too many people that tip toe around others for fear that they’re going to trigger a negative reaction in them.
The Topic Of Money
One particular topic that can be hard to navigate is money. I am referring to debt of all kinds, salary, and other areas of personal finance.
My parents never had any conversations with me about money. I didn’t even know what my mom’s profession was until I started college.
To be honest, I thought we were well off. Not rich by any means, but certainly not poor. At one point we had two homes, a restaurant, and multiple concession stands located inside parks across New York state.
We would also always bring the most expensive food to family gatherings. My mom would always bring some kind of protein-salmon, roasts, etc.
Needless to say, I had no idea we were in debt.
Applying To Colleges
When I was applying to college, I thought about everything except cost. I wanted a college that was ranked pretty well, cute dorm rooms, and options for Greek life (that I didn’t even end up joining).
I never filled out a single loan application. In fact, I didn’t even fill out my own FAFSA form.
At my school, everyone I knew attended a state or city college. The only school that I would have considered attending was Stony Brook, but I literally scoffed at the idea of CUNYs.
There was even a time that a recruiter from St.John’s University came to my school and offered me a $25,000 scholarship every year. Once again, I thought I was above that.
Choosing A College
After all the acceptance and rejection letters came in, I narrowed my choice down to two schools.
The first school was Seton Hall, which my dad and I got a chance to visit before we made a decision. I loved everything about it. The campus was beautiful, the people were nice, and it was close enough where I could go back home easily.
I also got a scholarship that would have covered more than half the cost of the tuition.
The other was UMass Amherst, which I never visited prior to making my decision. All I had to go by was what US News and their website said.
UMass offered me $8,000 a year in scholarships.
The night I had to make my decision, I was downstairs in my basement contemplating. My dad came down and we talked about what school would be best.
He told me not to worry about the money, and that “we will figure it out”. I thought this meant that they would pay for my tuition.
Despite loving Seton Hall and having a much larger scholarship there, I ended up choosing to go to UMass.
I chose UMass because it ranked higher in national colleges than Seton Hall and had number one dining in the country.
Let me reiterate: it wasn’t the majors, the cost, or the potential networking opportunities. I chose my college based on the food and ranking.
How much debt am I in?
After four years of undergraduate where I lived in the most expensive dorms on campus (honors dorms), one year of my Master’s program and a six month dietetic internship, I owe a little over $150,000 in student loans.
More than half of this debt comes from private student loans that my mom took out under my name with her as a cosigner.
These private loans are also at variable interest rates that can not be consolidated. I can not negotiate for a lower interest rate, or choose other repayment plans. Trust me, I’ve looked at every possible avenue to lower my monthly payment.
When my dad said they would handle it, I had no idea that I was signing off on 14 different loans under different providers. I knew I was going to come out with some debt, but I didn’t understand the magnitude and the impact it would have on my life.
College debt is very much normalized as something everyone has, so I really didn’t understand what I was getting myself into.
Was it worth it?
Going to UMass was by FAR the worst decision I ever made.
Did I have fun in college? I guess, but certainly not $150,000 worth of fun.
Was the food amazing? Yes, but not $150,000 amazing.
Whenever someone would ask me “how’s college?”, I really didn’t know how to respond. I missed my family and my boyfriend all the time. And I absolutely hate Boston sports teams, which just so happened to be doing amazing during the years I attended.
And for my younger readers who are contemplating college right now, I want to put it into perspective how my debt has hindered my life so you do not make the same mistakes I made.
The minimum payments for my private loans are $1500. Because federal student loans are paused until January 2022, I haven’t had to pay those yet. And there’s no way I can make extra payments right now.
My monthly payments for just my private loans are more than what I pay for my mortgage, car, and utilities COMBINED.
I owe more in student loans than my house is worth.
There is no kind of “discretionary spending”. No getting my nails done, no massages, no new clothes, no stops at coffee shops. Not that I am that kind of person anyway.
I could not save up any money for my “big moments”. I didn’t have a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a wedding, or a baby shower.
I have no money to put aside monthly for my son’s college fund.
If there were any kind of emergency, I would have no money to pay for it.
As unfortunate as it is, I hold so much anger over my debt that it makes it really hard to look back on my years at UMass fondly. And I have no intention to ever step foot in the state of Massachusetts again.
Why am I sharing this?
There is a talking point when it comes to college debt that everyone always likes to use and it’s “well, you knew what you were doing when you signed your name on the loan”.
I didn’t. I really didn’t.
I was so clueless when it came to money, and so shallow in what I valued when I was 17.
I’m sharing all this because I wish someone had told me flat out we were broke. I wish I had come across a blog post like this before I made a decision.
And I know I can’t be the only one that’s clueless as hell. These colleges and banks pry on people like me and my family, and we’re dumb enough to take the bait.
Conclusion
There is no use in regretting things that have already happened, and I understand that if I didn’t choose this path my life would be very different.
That being said, if any of my young readers stumble across this page, I want you to know that student debt is not normal. Common does not mean normal.
Just because everyone has it does not make it okay.
No one will care what school you went to for undergraduate, and you are not better for going to a better school.
If your family can only afford to send you to a city school, there is NOTHING wrong with that.
The most important thing you can do is make the most out of what you are given in life.
NOW I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
How did your college experience go?
Do you have debt from it? Or other debt you wanted to share?
Let me know by leaving me a comment down below.
