Intuitive Eating Principle Seven: Coping With Your Emotions Without Using Food

This blog post will discuss everything you need to know about the seventh principle of Intuitive Eating: Coping With Your Emotions Without Using Food. 

If you’re brand new to Intuitive Eating, you’ll want to start with this blog post, which breaks down what Intuitive Eating is and how it might be beneficial for you. 

If you need a refresher, I’ve also gone over the previous six principles in separate blog posts, which are Rejecting the Diet Mentality, Honoring Your Hunger, Making Peace With Food, Challenging The Food Police, Feeling Your Fullness and Discovering The Satisfaction Factor.

We’re Humans, Not Robots

As humans, we go through life with feelings. All of life’s trials and tribulations are accompanied with food. 

We celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and graduation parties with elaborate spreads. We go through breakups and final exams with tissues in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other.

In principle two of this series, I talked about honoring your hunger. That pertains to both your physical hunger and your emotional hunger. 

But what happens when you use food to cope with every emotion? Is that healthy? And at what point do you draw the line? 

What Is Emotional Hunger?

Food has a way of being really comforting and soothing. Take, for example, a family recipe that has been tweaked and passed down from generation to generation. 

Almost like when you eat it, your insides are getting a nice, warm hug.

Or, let’s say you just finished finalizing a messy divorce. Sometimes, there’s nothing better than baking some cookies, putting on a romcom and feeling your feelings. 

In these instances, maybe you aren’t feeling physically hungry, but have a desire to eat because of an emotion you’re feeling. This is what emotional hunger is. 

Emotional hunger is totally normal, and okay for you to honor…to an extent. 

What Emotions Trigger Emotional Eating?

There are a ton of emotions that can trigger emotional eating. 

These include (but are not limited to):

• Boredom-you need time to go faster, and the only way you know how to do that is to eat.
• Procrastination-maybe there is a work task that you have been putting off, so you venture to the break room and see if there is a fun snack even though you aren’t hungry.
• Anger-someone got you so mad that you just need to open up a bag of chips and munch down as hard as you can.
• Love-you’re in a new relationship and they’re coming over for dinner for the first time so you get fancy in the kitchen!
• Anxiety/Depression-some people stop eating when they’re anxious, and others eat more. 

When Does Emotional Hunger Become A Problem?

Food can be used as a way to deal with your emotions, but the problem occurs if food is your ONLY way to deal with your emotions. 

If you’re using food to cope with an emotion for a problem that you have never had before, it’s okay. 

It is only when the behavior becomes habitual that it can get problematic. 

It’s almost like a cycle- an emotional event occurs in your life, and the only way you know how to handle it is by eating. But after you eat, you just feel worse about yourself. 

This pattern of behavior repeats, until all your feelings and behaviors are negative and destructive. 

Thus, the goal of this principle is to find ways for you to regain control of your emotions without using food, so that you can break your cycle of guilty feelings. 

The Continuum Of Emotional Eating

Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, the founders of Intuitive Eating, identify five types of emotional eating that range from being harmless to very destructive. 

These five types are:

• Sensory gratification-the lowest intensity. On this level, you are eating for pleasure. This is normal and encouraged. 
• Comfort-Here, you are eating food as a way to comfort yourself. This may be during stressful situations or times where you are feeling vulnerable. 
• Distraction-this is a very common form of emotional eating and can range from very mild (eating out of boredom) to more intense (eating to avoid/distract you from something emotional)
• Sedation-using food as a way to numb your feelings. Instead of tuning into your body, you’re tuning out. 
• Punishment-this level often comes after eating for sedation. You feel guilty for eating, and so you eat more as a way to punish yourself. 

Learning How To Cope With Your Emotions Without Food

Here are some actionable steps to help you get started on coping with your emotions without using food as a crutch.

1. Revisit Principle #2: Honoring Your Hunger. Are you in tune with your body’s hunger cues? Are you eating when you are hungry?
2. Try identifying what you are feeling the next time you find yourself eating when you aren’t hungry. Ask yourself “What am I feeling right now and why am I eating? Am I anxious? Bored? Lonely? Overwhelmed?” If you are having trouble identifying your feelings, I’ve included practices in this blog post, so make sure to keep reading!
3. If you’re able to identify the emotion that you are feeling, see if you can figure out what you might need. For example,  if you are feeling nervous about an upcoming job interview, maybe going through the interview questions can ease your mind. 
4. If what you might need requires help from someone else, try practicing speaking up and asking for what you need. In the example above, you might want to ask a friend or spouse to hold a mock interview with you. 

Practices You Can Start TODAY!

Here are some things you can try to start learning how to cope with your emotions without using food. 

Self-Care

Self-care is something I take very seriously, and so should you!

It is important to take care of yourself so that when something unexpected comes your way, you are as emotionally prepared as you can be.

While people often think self-care is getting a manicure/pedicure or getting a massage, it can also be going to the gym for a workout and seeing a therapist or coach. 

Distraction

Feeling your feelings all the time can be exhausting. Sometimes, you just want to turn on a mindless television show and forget about it for a few hours. 

This is totally okay to do! 

The next time you feel like eating as a result of an emotion you are feeling, try to see if you can distract yourself for half an hour. 

Maybe you might like to go for a walk, or do an arts and crafts activity. Whatever sounds good to you, go out and do it!

Tuning In At Mealtime

The next time you sit down for a meal, I want you to pay attention to any emotions that you may be feeling at that moment.

Maybe you’re feeling happy because you’re eating something you like, or because something good happened to you that day. 

Or, maybe you’re worried about something you have to do at work, and you’re not even paying attention to what you’re eating. 

Maybe you’re feeling no emotions at all, and are just eating to satisfy your biological hunger cues. 

Now, if the meal (or snack) that you’re eating is happening as a result of a feeling, take a second to connect with your actions. 

If you’re using food to cope with your emotions, is it working at all? Have the negative feelings gone away? 

Or, are you feeling even more negatively about yourself?

In other words, if you were experiencing a problem, did eating help you resolve the issue you were having?

There is no right or wrong answer here. You are simply approaching the situation with gentle curiosity. 

Using A Navy Seal Tactic To Create Calmness

Four square breathing, otherwise known as box breathing, is a technique used by Navy SEALs to ease tensions in the body and achieve mental clarity.  

You can try four square breathing whenever you start to feel out of control.

Find a calm environment for yourself where you will not be interrupted and sit yourself in a comfortable seated position. If it helps you to lie down you can also lie down. 

Then, set a timer for five minutes. When you’re ready, take a deep inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds. Rest for four seconds, and repeat until the timer runs out. 

Warning Before You Go Cold Turkey

While you are learning how to cope with your emotions without using food, you may find yourself still using food in the process. 

What I mean is that if you’ve been using food as an escape for a long period of time, it is unrealistic to think you can learn how to process your emotions without food right off the bat. 

It’s going to take some time to gather your coping mechanisms and find what works for you, so please be gentle with yourself as you go through this process. 

Conclusion

In the world of dieting, emotional eating has a pretty bad reputation.

Emotional eating is not something to be ashamed of, and is a very normal part of life. There will be times in your life that you turn towards food, and that is okay. 

The main thing we have to learn is how to use food as ONE tool in your toolbox, and not have food be your whole toolkit. 

Further Research

Evelyn Tribole wrote a great post detailing Intuitive Eating Principle 7: Coping With Your Emotions Without Using Food. If you want to learn more about Intuitive Eating Principle #7, I definitely recommend reading that article, linked here. 

NOW I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

What are some strategies you use to cope with your emotions? 

Do you use food as a coping mechanism?