Before I get into my birth center story, I want to start off by saying: If you’re an expecting mama, congratulations! I am so excited for you and wish you nothing but the best.
If you’re thinking about getting pregnant but can’t seem to pull the trigger, let this be the universe’s way of saying DO IT! Mom life is the best life, and I promise you won’t regret it.
Now let’s get into my unmedicated, positive, birth center story!
Getting Pregnant
My husband and I were trying for about three months before I got pregnant with Austin. The first month we didn’t really know how to track it, but I ended up bleeding for a pretty long time. I thought that it was implantation bleeding, but all of the pregnancy tests came back negative. Usually my period is really heavy and consistent, so this light spotting for two weeks was very out of the ordinary.
To this day I don’t really know what happened, but I’m thinking it may have been a miscarriage. And because we had that wonky first month, it threw us off our game during month 2. But, by month 3 we were back in business, and that is when I got pregnant with Austin!
Trimester Experience
In the first trimester, I didn’t have any kind of nausea, but I did feel like everything tasted weird. I remember describing the taste as slightly metallic.
The usual things that I craved like pho or Thai food sounded pretty unappealing to me, and the only thing I wanted to eat were clementines, which was ironic because I was going to use the name Clementine for Austin if he were a girl.
By my second trimester, I was able to eat more like my normal self. Since I was still working from home at this time, Nick and I went out for sushi a lot. The price was really great and so was the food. And I know, a lot of people say to avoid sushi when you’re pregnant. But I did it anyway.
The only complaint I had during this time was slight back pain, but seeing a chiropractor really helped. I also had a gestational diabetes scare, but was able to opt out of the glucose tolerance test by checking my blood sugars regularly and keeping a journal (more on gestational diabetes here).
In my third trimester, I developed a pretty bad yeast infection down there, and I was in so much pain that I wasn’t able to walk more than a block.
But all in all, pregnancy was very smooth sailing! In total, I gained 11 pounds.
Gender Disappointment
Call it mother’s intuition, but I really knew that Austin was going to be a boy. I told everyone I didn’t want to know what the gender was, but my husband wanted to know so I put the sonogram picture in a little envelope and handed it to him.
He ended up telling everyone and it wasn’t a secret for long because my mother-in-law spilled the beans.
I remember very vividly feeling incredibly upset when my prediction was confirmed. It isn’t so much that I really wanted a girl, but it was more so the fact that I didn’t know how to raise a boy.
Would I be able to bond with him about video games or sports? Would I be able to teach him how to be respectful and act like a gentleman?
I felt so much pressure, and it didn’t help that when I expressed this to anyone all I got in response was, “Well as long as he’s healthy, what does it matter?”
Why is that the standard now? Shouldn’t it be the bare minimum that he’s healthy? I couldn’t understand why people wouldn’t let me grieve for my vision of having a girl.
Needless to say, I did end up processing these feelings in a healthy way, and by two weeks I was completely over them and over the moon excited for my son to make his arrival. But I say all this to validate that gender disappointment is REAL and should not be brushed off like I felt it was when I experienced it.
The Day Before Labor
The day before I went into labor, I had an appointment at my birth center, Fort Worth Birthing and Wellness. I chose a birth center to give birth because I absolutely hate everything about hospital settings.
I hate the fluorescent lights, the smells, the constant monitoring from “professionals” who think they know more than you, and the unnecessary interventions (more on this here). Literally everything.
And I knew damn well I was not going to put a mask on while I was laboring.
I had a few appointments prior to that last one where my blood pressure came back high, and I was told that if I didn’t get my blood pressure to a normal range that I would be ruled out of the birth center and I’d have to be induced at the hospital.
Knowing this, I tried everything I could to get it down. I cut out salt completely from my diet for that last month, and I refrained from going out to eat. But none of that was enough and they had me scheduled for the next day to go into the hospital.
I remember being so incredibly angry and inconsolable. First from a money standpoint, I had completely paid off what I owed to the birth center, which was about $4500. And now I was about to be hit with a hospital bill.
I also felt like my birth experience was going to be completely stolen from me. Since I had high blood pressure, I would have to be constantly monitored. And because I was being induced, I knew that I would have to get pitocin. As a first time mom who had no clue how contractions felt, I didn’t think I was strong enough to say no to pain medication. There goes my unmedicated birth center story that I’ll get it to tell.
When I called my family to tell them about it, everyone was excited that I was going to be induced. They all come from a medical mindset where epidurals and pitocin are just what birth is supposed to look like, so they could not understand why I was so upset.
This is where I heard that phrase again: “it’s for the safety of you and the baby”. I couldn’t help but think “Do they not know the dangers of an epidural? Do they not know how unsafe a hospital can be? Do they not care about my dream?”
Everything just felt so completely unfair and out of my control. All the preparation I’ve done-the birth courses, the breathing techniques, the countless videos I watched. I drank the tea, ate the dates, and shoved primrose oil up my hoohah for MONTHS.
The only person that understood my frustration and offered me support was Natasha, a Registered Dental Hygienist, that I follow on social media.
She took the time to send me advice as I prepared my mind and heart towards my induction. She’s a wealth of knowledge, and I highly encourage you to follow her on Instagram @empoweredmamamovement.
After listening to Natasha’s recordings, I came to terms with what was happening, but I still felt really upset. So I did what I do every time I’m feeling like crap-I take a shower.
This was when the first contraction hit me.
There was no pain at all. In fact, it felt like butterflies. I waited for another one, but after 20 minutes I felt nothing. “Maybe it was just wishful thinking” was what I thought. So I got out of the shower and went to bed.
First Trip To The Birth Center
At about 4 in the morning I woke up and felt those butterflies again. It was slightly stronger now, tightening but still not painful. I sat up in bed and timed the tightening. It was inconsistent, but it was there.
“Something was happening! Bring on the pain!” was my mantra at this time. But by 6:30AM, things were still the same, and it was time to go to the hospital for my induction at 8AM.
Then, right as I was about to get out of bed, I felt a pool of liquid rush out of me. I got so excited because I thought it was my water breaking, but my husband told me it was actually blood.
We decided to take a detour to the birth center and see if we could figure out what was going on.
On the car ride to the center, my contractions started to get a little painful. We had to wait for the midwife to show up, which only took about ten minutes, but when I was laboring outside I told my husband that I thought I was in transition.
Transition is known as being the point where you start to doubt yourself. If you’re in the hospital, this is about the time a lot of women ask for an epidural.
Our midwife, Valerie, got to the birth center and checked me. She said “you’re still only 3 centimeters” and I felt completely dejected.
Here I was thinking I was almost there and my birth center story would be over soon, when in reality I was nowhere close.
Valerie ended up sending me upstairs to do a nonstress test to check on the baby’s heart rate. In order to get accurate results from the test, I needed to stay still on my side.
I remembered laying on that couch and feeling so uncomfortable. I kept telling my husband that I didn’t think I could do this much longer, and that if there was a lot of labor ahead of me that I wanted to tap out and get the epidural.
Everyone calls me an “ox” because of my high pain tolerance, and here I was almost in tears at 3 centimeters.
Valerie came in to check on me, and delivered even more bad news- I had to go home because I was not dilated enough for the birth center to accept me.
Because I was only allowed to stay at the birth center for up to 6 hours, they didn’t want to admit me too early and have me time out. I remember pleading with them for me to stay, certain that he was close, but it was no use.
Laboring at Home
When we got home, I told my husband to call our doula, because at this point I was full blown panicking. She advised him to help me into the shower and to stay there until she came. So I got undressed and went into the shower.
I don’t remember exactly how long I was in there, but at some point I got out and started laboring on the toilet. It was the only spot that felt comfortable at that time.
It was such a relief when Angela, my doula, came into the bathroom. I told her I didn’t think I could do it, and she looked straight at me and said, “Yes you can. You are so strong and you got this”.
In my head, I figured that if she’s done this thousands of times, she must know what she’s talking about.
Slowly but surely I transitioned to my bed and labored there. In between contractions, Angela recommended I close my eyes and try to nap. I was in the ZONE at this point, laser focused and concentrating on nothing but the next contraction in front of me.
They say it is like a wave, and it really is. One minute your body is twisting you from the inside, and then it slowly fades away, allowing you to catch your breath in preparation for the next one.
At some point during all of this, I managed to sneak in a few bites of clementines with Angela’s help. I wasn’t hungry, but I really think that little bit of energy was what I needed to keep going.
So if anyone reading this is contemplating on getting a doula, trust me, they are worth their weight in gold.
Now, while all of this is happening, you might be wondering where my sweet husband is. Spoiler alert: he really wasn’t a major part of my birth center story.
From what he told me, he was outside making sure the puppies were okay. In hindsight, I may have wanted him to be there laboring with me. But at the time, I really did not care at all where he was.
Let’s Go Have A Baby!
After laboring on my bed for a while and switching from laying on my side to being in a tabletop position, I started to make some concerning sounds.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be a loud laborer, but the low mooing sounds I was making really helped me through my contractions. Angela finds Nick to tell him that it was time to go to the birth center. We grabbed our backpack and went out the door.
They aren’t kidding when they say that the car ride to the birth destination is miserable. It REALLY is.
Nick was trying his best to calm me down by giving me traffic updates and saying, “We’re only 20 minutes away”, “We’re only 10 minutes away”, “Now we’re only 5 minutes away!” but I just wanted to punch him in the face. “I can see the updates on the GPS!” I thought to myself.
We pulled up to the birth center and headed upstairs to our room. The midwives helped me get my pants off to check my progress, and I hear them filling up the tub with water in the background.
It was my absolute dream to have my birth center story include giving birth in a tub and having Nick catch him like a football. But Austin had other plans.
The contractions were really intense at this point, and I hear one of them say “his heartbeat is dropping. She has to start pushing”. Which was perfect timing, because in that same moment, I felt an uncontrollable urge to bear down.
With two midwives holding one leg each, Angela holding my left hand and Nick holding my right hand, I gave it my all.
Within 15 minutes of me arriving at the birth center, Austin was born at 1:36PM weighing 5 pounds 6 ounces and measuring 19 ½ inches. He was a little guy! And he pooped once he came out!
Post Birth
Once Austin came out, everything stopped. I couldn’t believe the pain stops as soon as the baby comes out.
I remember saying “That was awesome, let’s do it again!”. There truly is nothing like that post birth high. I was so proud of myself for doing what I set out to do, and so happy that I avoided the hospital.
Valerie delivered my placenta and luckily I didn’t have any deep tears. I didn’t even need to get stitches!
Austin was able to latch and nurse on me within an hour of him being born, and Nick had left to get me a Chick Fil A salad. Finally, after not having salt for a month, I was able to have some real food!
And just like I predicted, once he came out, my blood pressure went back to normal!
Within an hour I was able to get up and walk around and a few hours of giving birth, we were able to go home as a new family of three! This was another positive of choosing a birth center to give birth as opposed to a hospital.
Conclusion
I firmly believe that Austin is such a calm and happy baby because of the way he entered this world. Having the birth of my dreams has allowed me to walk into motherhood confidently and without fear. My birth center story made birth amazing for me, and I am SO EXCITED to do it again someday!
Hopefully me sharing my birth center story will empower more women to share theirs!
